Fade Away
There was a water ring that scarred the finish of the old oak coffee table that had been there for three years now. They generally covered it with the sports section of the newspaper that had landed on their doorstep the same day of the stain's discovery, the headline reading, "The Bambino Strikes Again." Of course they usually left if face down, only allowing it a breath of air when irony struck and the Red Socks actually beat the Yankees, however during the post season they'd flip it back over not allowing the cover to read the light of day again until spring training.
Jack's heavy head fell back lazily against the cushion of the couch leaving him to stare at the ceiling in contemplation. The phone rang loudly again for the fourth time that afternoon but under strict instructions by his roommate early that morning; he only glanced at it before returning his gaze to the thin slither of a cobweb dancing on the ceiling above him.
The answering machine came to life with a mechanical beep before Pacey's voice filled the room, "Good morning, afternoon, or night, Jack and I are currently unavailable, more likely arguing over who'll answer the phone." Jack rolled his eyes mouthing along with the message, "So if you'll please drop a message we'll strongly consider getting back to you." With a second beep he could hear the phone hit the cradle on the other side of the line before a third beep ended this now banal routine.
Boxes lye scattered around the living room all branded with various titles by a sharpie marker earlier that week. The room was now barren of the homely touches that were once scattered haphazardly around the apartment; Bertha now the only thing keeping him company beside the coffee table, his bandage, and the couch that Jack sat upon.
A crash sounded from the room down the hall followed by a few muttered obscenities before the door swung open and a pair of binoculars crashed against the wall followed by a prompt slamming of the door. Jack cringed cocking his head to see the dent made on the wall, the scratched paint that would surely deduct the value of the apartment that they had just recently sold.
Jack was to return to the wings of Evelyn Ryan, tucked away safely from the real world and rent and any other unsupervised living styles. Pacey was being Pacey, riding life by the seam of his pants and hoping it would never catch up with him.
The door vibrated with a heavy knock which progressively turned to a continuous rumble. Taking a deep breath Jack allowed his eyes to slip shut hoping to remove the headache that was beginning to threaten, "Pace, you can't ignore her anymore, she's at the door."
"Jack?" Her voice questioned through the door, "Jack I know you're in there now, so open the door."
"Pacey, her anger is growing, she can break down the door, I know it."
"Jack, would you open the door," she pounded her fist against it a little harder.
"Pacey, I'm answering it now," he warned climbing reluctantly to his feet heading to the front door.
She stood on the other side, arms firmly folded against her chest, "Why didn't you tell me what happened?" She requested sternly.
"Because I don't really know myself," Jack said innocently a small tug at his shoulder.
"Where is he, I have questions," Jen said brushing past him.
"Either fighting a tornado or packing," he contemplated as she staked down the hall.
"Pacey, I'm coming in right now, so if you need a weapon to protect yourself, now is the best time to find one," she warned through the door before pushing it open.
"Lindley, hey," he replied calmly sifting through his CDs.
"What happened yesterday?"
Pacey glanced at her briefly before returning his attention to his packing, "Nothing important."
"Then why has Joey called me three times in the past 12 hours in tears about you hating her?" She asked placing her hands on her hips.
"Oh that," he said casually.
"Yes that," she replied dumbly, "what happened, because she certainly isn't talking."
"Just your typical overly dramatic heartfelt confessions that are met with everything but what you were looking for followed by your average bitter parting words."
Jen pressed her lips into a straight line, "That's what I thought."
"You know it's better this way," he decided, talking more to himself, "to just wash our hands clean of each other instead of this constant game of tag that always leaves us this way."
"It's your fault that you keep on coming back," Jen said, "there's got to be a reason for that."
He dropped his head with a sigh, "I just can't learn, that's my problem."
Jen sat on his bed glancing over his belongings, "So where're you heading?"
"Eh, I'll figure it out when I get there."
"I see you've thought it out," she said dryly.
He chuckled, "If I had thought it out, I wouldn't be leaving."
"Then don't go," Jen said abruptly, "stay here in Boston with us, we've grown quite fond of you for the oddest of reasons."
"I don't think that's the best of ideas."
"You can't escape her you know," she said quietly, "leaving won't make you stop loving her."
He chewed on his lip for a moment before letting out a gruff sigh, "Well it will stop me from hurting her anymore."
"Any pain you cause her while you're here won't compare to what she'd feel if you were gone."
He frowned tossing another few items into his suitcase, "I'm just done, I was born when she kissed me. I died when she left me. I lived a few weeks while she loved me, but now I'm going to try living on my own."
Jen stood, swiping her hands over her jeans, "You were always too stubborn for me to talk you into anything," she pulled him into a hug holding him tightly, "I just want you to be happy."
He smirked, "I'd like for that too."
Pulling back she met his eye, "And you're sure you can do that without her?"
"I can try."
Giving him one last hug, she pat him on the back, "Have fun out there."
"You too Lindley," he breathed watching her out the door.
"I was thinking," Jack said standing in the doorframe.
Pacey glanced up under the hood of his eye momentarily before continuing his packing, "And what is that?"
"Maybe I should come with you, you know, two buddies on the road to nowhere, leaving their mark at every corner till the entire country knows us by name."
"As appealing of an offer as that sounds," Pacey grunted emptying another drawer, "I'm sure Jen would kill me for stealing her fag hag."
"True," he nodded slowly, "but she'd never be able to catch us."
"I don't know, she has her ways."
Jack licked his dry lips, "I'm going to miss you man."
"I know," Pacey replied.
"I mean you've left us all so many times before but we were always under the impression you'd come back, but this? It seems pretty final."
"Every time I leave it's supposed to be final," he chuckled sadly, "I just always find my way back here."
"She loves you, you know."
He bowed his head, "Yeah I know."
"Then why are you so desperate to leave her?"
Zipping up his suit case, he lifted it with a grunt, "I should get going."
"Goodbye Pacey," Jack said pulling him into a hug.
"I'll give you a call," he reassured him, but in the next moment he was gone.
~*~
The rain showers had stopped early that morning yet droplets of water still clung to his car, splashing wildly as he slammed the trunk shut.
"I didn't think you were leaving so soon," he lifted his gaze, stopping when he spotted her sitting on a bench on the sidewalk beside him.
"Well packing didn't take as long as I thought, so I figured I'd just take off, the sooner the better, right?"
"You know I won't ask you to stay," she said quietly, "I could never make decisions for you so don't expect me to ask."
He smirked, "Don't worry, I wasn't keeping my hopes up."
"I just wish you weren't leaving because of me."
"You and I just need to be apart."
"And so you're running away," she replied stubbornly.
He cocked a brow, "Why stay?"
She narrowed her eyes, "Have a nice trip."
"So I take it I have your blessing."
"Yeah," she nodded, "to rot in hell," she sneered.
"I figure that's where my journey will end."
A frown etched her lips, "Goodbye Pacey."
He leaned against the trunk of his car, folding his arms over his chest, "Jo, you know there never will be a goodbye in this little saga, there truly is no end."
"Then why leave?"
"Well every story needs it's twists and turns, it makes it all the more sweeter when you finally get what you want."
She dropped her gaze tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, "Then what's left to say?"
He grinned sadly, "I'll see ya Joey."
A tear fell heavier then the rain as he got into his car, the slow purr of the engine quickly sweeping into the wind as he pulled down the road. "See ya, Pacey," she whispered watching him fade away.
-July 2004